


We Didn’t Understand

by Forevermore_Fiction



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Bowers Gang - Freeform, Derry, F/M, Fanfiction, Henry Bowers - Freeform, IT - Freeform, IT 2017 - Freeform, Patrick Hockstetter - Freeform, Pregnant!Reader, Reader Insert, Requests, Stephen King - Freeform, belch huggins - Freeform, bowers gang fanfiction, derry maine, maine, owen teague - Freeform, patrick hockstetter x pregnant!reader, patrick hockstetter x reader, victor criss - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 15:37:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20603192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forevermore_Fiction/pseuds/Forevermore_Fiction
Summary: (Patrick Hockstetter x Pregnant!Reader)Request:hi!! uhm first time making a request, could you please consider writing some Patrick x Reader where she’s pregnant and he found out precisely the last day of school, after he dies. Thanks :)hi again!! I’m the anon who requested the weird Patrick x pregnant!Reader story a few days ago; what I mean was: he founds out she’s pregnant the last day of school BEFORE he goes down the sewer and dies. I was imaging the general idea like the reader being super happy because they’re gonna have a family and then super sad because Patrick’s gone. Hope this clarifies it and thank you for reading my request! 💖Word Count: 4,098Rating: SFWWarnings: teenage pregnancy, Patrick’s solipsism, mention of Avery Hockstetter, implied character death, kind of gore (but nothing bad, I don’t think)





	We Didn’t Understand

You hadn't known what to do at first. What could you do? You had spent the night before sitting on your bathroom floor with your hand over your mouth, holding your fourth positive test in your hand. When the fourth has read the same as the first three, it had snapped in your mind that this was really happening.

You were pregnant.

The thought of being pregnant caused your heart to squeeze in your chest. You hadn't cried at first, but you might as well have. Thoughts raced around your head, and made it hard to breathe. You were in high school. How were you supposed to finish high school with a baby? What would people say? What would they think? What would your parents think? What would Patrick think?

Oh God, what would _Patrick_ think?

That thought kept you awake for the rest of the night. He wasn't the type to be lovey, he never expressed his love to you, he never implied wanting a family, or even to marry you. What would he say to this? What would he do. All you could think is that he would leave you. Or worse, knowing Patrick… if he didn't want a baby, there was nothing he would do to stop it from coming out alive.

You tried to take a breath. Maybe you weren't giving him enough credit. Maybe he wouldn't be upset. Maybe he would be happy…

The next day, you had dreaded coming to school, even though it was the very last day of your sophomore year. You walked past all the unsuspecting students. They didn't know. They didn't have any idea that you had gotten knocked up. An old friend called across the hall to say hello, and you barely answered, a few other people said good morning and you just stared ahead, seeing Patrick and his friends leaning against the lockers near yours.

What the fuck was Patrick going to think?

“Hey Princess~”

You felt yourself get pulled against him, and he wrapped his arms around you. You let him, not really reacting in case you started crying, and he kissed at your jaw, his black hair brushing against your face slightly. “Hi…” was all you said. He pouted.

“What's the matter? Miss your period?” he teased you. You let out a whimper without meaning to and burst into tears, quickly covering your face. Through your fingers, you could see the other boys looked shocked, and Patrick looked confused. “What? I was just kidding, I didn't think it was _that_ mean.”

“Patrick, c-can I talk to you for a minute?” you asked quietly. He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah.”

He didn't move, waiting for you to start talking, and you rolled your eyes, grabbing his hand. “Outside. Alone.” He seemed a little annoyed at this but stood up off of the lockers, following you as you brought him outside and towards the empty playground.

You sat on a bench and he just stood over you, still waiting for you to say what you needed to say. “You're making me nervous. Why are you crying?” he said, not sounding concerned, more pestered than anything.

“I-I’m scared you'll be mad,” you start.

“Depends on what you say,” he pointed out. “As long as you're still only fucking me, I--”

“Patrick, I _did_ miss my period,” you blurted. He froze, his eyes widening a bit. “I'm… pregnant…”

He opened his mouth, then closed it. He sat down on the bench next to you and gripped the seat tightly. “Really?”

“Yes… I took four tests, all of them were positive…”

He nodded slowly, then stood up, starting to walk away. You quickly stood up, then he stopped and turned around, walking back towards you. “Um… okay. What do I… is it, like, mine?” he asked, sounding like he was what you could only describe as frantic. You nodded quickly. He took a breath.

“Are you mad?”

“Mad? No, no, not mad,” he said shortly, clenching and unclenching his fists. “I'm just… um… I just wasn't expecting that….” Unknown to you, there was a lot more going on. He had had a baby brother. Not many people knew expect his parents, and Henry. He hadn't even told you. What his parents and Henry didn't know, but suspected, was that Avery had been becoming real. Like him. Patrick couldn't risk another God coming and possibly destroying his world, and had done the only logical thing. Killing him hadn't been hard, since Avery had only been a baby. It was satisfying, to say the least, to watch him squirm and fall still, dying along with any possibility of Patrick's world and order being disrupted.

If Avery had been real, then this baby inside of you must be real too. It was his blood after all. It was a product of him, it would be a God like him. He tried to think about what to do. Could he kill something that wasn't born? He assumed he might have to kill you, which would be highly unfortunate, since he found you an amusing experiment.

_An experiment!_

That's what he could do, that’s what this would be. An experiment. Maybe the baby wouldn't be real, maybe it would be a part of the game, like you were. If it was, then it would just be another puzzle piece to fit into his understanding, another toy to play with. But it would also be partly his… so maybe it would be like a half God. A half God wouldn't be so bad, it would be beneath him. Only if it came out as a real person like him would he have to kill it. That's what he decided.

“Patrick?”

He looked back up at you, and realized that he hadn't finished what he was saying. “Oh! This is good! I think… _maybe_,” he explained, smiling a bit. You blinked. “Yeah! It could be like a small version of me, and half you!”

“You're not mad?” you asked him again.

“No! Of course I'm not mad! This is good,” he insisted, taking your arms. “I'm glad you told me, and didn't lie.”

“I wouldn't lie to you,” you told him honestly. He leaned down and kissed you and you smiled a bit, kissing him back. When he pulled away, you gulped. “I-I love--”

“We'd better get inside, they're gonna lock the doors in a minute,” he cut you off, not seeming to hear what you were saying. He dragged you back into the school, and you tried to let your anxiety about the situation melt away. “You better get to class, too. You're gonna be late.”

“What about you?” you questioned.

“Skipping with the boys, we're gonna hang out,” he explained, walking you towards your classroom. You stared at him, nervous that he was secretly mad at you about this whole things. He stopped in front of your classroom door and you gulped. “Don't worry, baby, it's the last day of school, I won't get in trouble for skipping.”

“It's not that… it's just…” you started. He waited while you took a breath. He stared down at you, his green eyes bright with emotions (or maybe lack of emotions) that you could never understand. You couldn't tell if he was happy, if he was indifferent, if he even cared or was taking this seriously. Maybe _he_ didn't understand. “Are you sure you're not mad at me? You're sure this is ok, I mean… a baby is a lot of work….”

“Yeah, but it's _my_ baby,” he pointed out. You smiled a bit, still thinking that maybe he didn't understand. “I'll see you after class.”

“Alright,” you agreed, going on your toes and kissing him before hurrying into class.

Patrick wanted this. Maybe he didn't quite understand that whole thing, but he did want this. And if he wanted it, then you wanted it. You could barely believe it, you were going to be a family. _He_ was going to be your family.

**\---**

“Henry!”

You stood up off the car and hurried over to him as he and Victor and Belch started walking up the hill towards you, looking upset. “We couldn't find him…” Belch told you when Henry didn't respond, climbing over the railing of the Kissing Bridge. You tried to hold back tears and he pulled off his hat, running his hand through his hair in frustration and despair. “We looked, but he's nowhere… it's like he just disappeared.”

“They've officially named him a missing person. They're gonna have people put signs up today,” Victor said quietly, wiping his hands on his pants and not looking at you as he climbed onto the road. Henry jumped over the railing and shoved passed you, opening the door to Belch's car roughly.

You watched him nervously. It had been a week since the last day of school. You hadn't seen Patrick right away after school, but he had come over to your house that night (your parents were out of town, which was very convenient) and had stayed the night, holding you and asking questions about babies. He asked what they did and what he would have to do, and what you were going to name it. He told you he wanted you to name it Joseph if it was a boy, and Molly if it was a girl and hadn't given a reason for either name. And then he had dozed off, holding you. It had been perfect, it had almost seemed unreal.

The next day he had kissed you goodbye rather passionately before leaving. He had said he was going home to change then going to hang out with the boys. You had spent your day cleaning and thinking of whether your baby would look more like you, or more like Patrick. Around four o’clock, you had seen Belch’s car pull up in front of your house. You had gone out, figuring Patrick was with them, and had seen Henry get out of the car. He had asked if Patrick was there, and you had told him he wasn't. He looked back at Victor and Belch in concern, and then told you that they couldn't find him. They explained that he had gone after the fat new kid and he hadn't come back.

That had been over a week ago. The boys had told the police, who had barely searched for him. His parents hadn't spoken about it to anyone, they hadn't even seemed concerned when you asked. Henry had told you to wait every time they went out to look for Patrick, and they always came back looking more sad and more angry every time.

Henry didn't get in the car right away, just kind of leaning against the open doorway as he tried to keep himself together, his blue eyes staring into space a bit as he ran his fingers over his knuckles absentmindedly. “W-Well we'll look again. He can't be too--” you started.

“He's gone, Y/N!” Henry snapped at you. You blinked, watching as he looked up to glare at you. “Once you got a missing person poster, you're gone! They ain't gonna find you!”

“Henry--” Victor tried.

“No! We can't look no more, there ain't nowhere else he could come fuckin’ be! He's _gone_! That's it,” he insisted.

Your lip trembled. “You can't give up that easily. What if he's hurt, or something, we _have_ to find--”

“‘cause you're pregnant? You wanna find him 'cause you thought he was gonna be a Daddy to your baby?” Henry scoffed. You took a step back as be pushed himself away from the car and stepped towards you. “That kid didn't want a family. He wouldn't’a cared about it, and he sure as hell didn't care about you! So stop lying to yourself, he's. _Gone_. We can't look no more.”

“Woah, Henry, come on...” Belch spoke up. Henry glared at him, then turned back towards the car, running his hand over his face. You clenched your fists and looked at Belch for help. He averted his gaze.

Victor looked between his friends, then finally made himself look at you, sadness in his dark hazel eyes. “I-I’m sorry, Y/N… but Henry's right, we can't keep looking, we've looked everywhere.”

“Have you looked in the drain pipes? Along the river?” you asked. Victor looked at Belch. “Please, you can't just give up on him, you can't!”

“You think we ain't been looking?! You wanna go look for him?!” Henry suggested coldly. Your jaw tensed, and you stood up straight.

“I will. I'll look for him,” you told him, pushing past him and climbing over the railing, starting to slide carefully down the bank.

“Wait, Y/N!” Victor called, he and Belch hurrying towards the rail to look down at you. You didn't say anything, sliding down until you reached the bottom, then walking down the path towards the river, where Belch told you Patrick had gone. You walked along the water, looking for any sign that he had been there. You couldn't give up on him. You just couldn't.

As you kept walking, you stopped at the first drain pipe entrance, and looked inside, pushing the vines aside. You pulled your flashlight out of your jacket (you had brought a knife, some bandages, and a flashlight just in case Henry had let you go with them), and turned it on, starting to walk through the murky water. You shown the light into one of the tunnels, then continued straight. It was all just water and trash and dead leaves, but it still gave you the creeps.

“Y/N.”

You turned quickly, hearing your name whispered quickly somewhere behind you, and heard footsteps. You walked carefully closer to where you'd heard it from, and could have sworn you saw someone run into the tunnel to the side. You paused, carefully getting your knife out of your jacket, then started forward again. As you reached the tunnel, your flashlight flickered and turned off. You swore, and hit the side, trying to start it back up.

“Y/N…”

You looked up, seeing the outline out a figure at the end of the tunnel, your breath caught in your throat.

“I thought no one was gonna find me… but _you_ did…”

“Patrick?” you breathed, starting to move closer.

“I knew you would find me… you wouldn't let me go away so easily, you wouldn't let me leave you and the baby behind,” he whispered. You put your knife back in your jacket and tried hitting the flashlight again.

“Why are you down here, Patrick? Are you hurt? We've been looking for you all week,” you told him, fear suddenly coursing through you. “We've been worried about you.” He didn’t say anything for a moment. “Patrick, I can’t see you, come outside.”

“It's nice down here, Y/N… You would like it down here. You and the baby would be happier here with me, I know you would… you would float…”

“Float?” you asked, stopping.

“We all float down here, Y/N. Come float with me… you’d like that, wouldn’t you, to be with me?”

“O-Of course, but not down here--”

“The baby can’t be out there, Y/N. That world isn’t real, we can't be out there,” he told you. You frowned. You knew that Patrick had a weird way of looking at the world, but you had never understood it. “I want you to stay here with me. Come with me…”

“Patrick, what’re you talking about…?” you questioned, moving closer towards him again. “P-Patrick, just come with--”

“I love you, Y/N.”

You froze, your heart starting to beat faster as you let this sink in. “W-What…?”

“I love you. Please come with me, be with me,” he pleaded. The thought that he might be (probably was) lying to you terrified you. He had done terrible things, what if he was trying to lure you down here as one of his sick games? But then, why had he stayed here all week? Was this even Patrick you were talking to? “Don't you want to be my family? That's what you want, isn't it?”

“P-Patrick,” you whimpered, backing away from him suddenly. He started moving towards you, and you could see from his figure that it was him, it had to be. He walked into the light just a little and you gasped, falling backwards against the wall frantically. It was Patrick alright. But he was covered in blood, and he had what looked like a bite mark in his shoulder and neck, and one of his hands was gone, and his clothes were torn and soaking wet, and his eyes were completely white, and his mouth was open in a horrible grin, his teeth sharp and bloody, and water (or maybe drool) dripping down his chin. You gasped and cried out.

“You aren't afraid of me, are you Y/N?” he asked, but his voice sounded wrong now, and the voice sounded like it was teasing you. Your mouth was just open in fear. “That was always what I loved about you, how _afraid _of me you were.”

“Y/N!”

You turned to look at the voice and your flashlight flickered back on. You looked forward again, only to see that no one was there… you stood frozen against the wall, seeing a tattered piece of bloodied, but definitely yellow shirt stuck to the grate across the pipe. Water splashed next to you as someone came closer, and you turned, seeing Belch. “What are you doing in here? We heard you screaming, are you okay?” he asked, concerned.

“I-I… he was...” you started, looking forward again. “I thought I saw… I saw… a-and he had… on his neck, and his hand was gone, a-and--”

“Y/N, calm down, I don’t understand,” he tried, shaking his head. You pointed towards the tattered piece of cloth against the grate.

“T-That’s a piece of his shirt,” you managed to say. He frowned and looked at where you were pointing, walking towards it carefully and peeling it off of the metal.

“Jesus…” Belch looked horrified to see the piece of his friend's shirt, just proving to him that he was dead, and that something horrible had happened to kill him. He looked down as something hit his foot and his mouth fell open. “Oh… fuck… h-hand, there’s a hand!”

You found the strength to walk forward and quickly stopped next to him, seeing the hand floating in the water at your feet. “N-No…” you breathed. “I told you! His hand was gone, I told you!” You bent down to pick it up without thinking much of what you were grabbing.

“Oh my God, don’t _touch it_!” Belch tried. You ignored him, looking at the bloody, severed appendage. It was definitely Patrick's, the silver rings on two of the slightly water-swollen fingers matched his. You tried to pull them off, not really sure what had come over you. “Y/N, stop!”

“No! It's all I'll have left!” you cried, getting one of the rings off. He looked horrified as you started the second one. “It's all we'll have left of him…”

You got the second ring off and dropped the hand back into the water, leaning against him Belch weakly, holding the rings tightly in your hand, but your legs unable to hold you. He grabbed you and lead you carefully out of the pipe, helping you down as you reached the outside.

“Son of a bitch,” Henry snapped, jumping of of the path when he saw where you and Belch had come from. “Are you crazy? Goin’ in there all alone!?” He started hurrying over with Victor as you sat down on a rock outside of the pipe. “What, you wanna end up like--”

“Henry,” Belch whispered. You could tell he was trying to say it quietly so that you couldn’t hear him, but you could. “We found a hand…” Henry looked shocked. “His hand… we found his hand…”

“Fuck,” Victor said.

“H-He’s in there. I know he is, I-I heard him, he was… talking to me,” you told them. They looked down at you, then at each other, then Victor sat down on the rock next to you. “I-I saw him, he looked dead, he had this big bite taken out of his shoulder and his hand was gone, b-but he was talking to me...”

“You're probably just in shock, Y/N…” he explained calmly, trying to get you to look at him. “That happens, I think. You're probably just having trouble--”

“No, no, I saw him, it was him, and he said he wanted me to come with him--”

“Y/N,” Henry said shortly. You looked up at him. “There's no one in there. Maybe Patrick was in there at some point, maybe he went in there to find the fat kid and whoever's been taking kids got him, but he ain't there now. You found his fucking hand. He's dead.”

You felt your lip trembled and you started crying again. Holding the rings more tightly in your hands, you touched your stomach absentmindedly and sobbed loudly. This couldn't be. Patrick couldn't be gone, there was no way….

Victor stood you up carefully and the four of you started back towards the car. He kept a hand on you, just to make sure you didn't faint or something, and Henry went ahead with Belch.

“He would’a killed that baby,” Henry mumbled to his friend. You had a feeling you weren't meant to hear it, but you could hear it perfectly. Belch looked at him, shocked.

“Henry, that's--”

“No. You don't understand. He didn't think we were real, he didn't want anyone else to exist. He would’a thought the baby was real and he’da killed it,” he explained quietly. “He did it once, he'da done it again.”

“What’dya mean, he did it once?” Belch hissed.

Henry shook his head. “Nevermind…” he sighed. “It don't matter no more. He's gone. We gotta forget about it and move on.”

No matter how badly you wanted to speak up, you couldn't bring yourself to, only crying silently as Victor helped you up the hill. Patrick was gone. That reality was seeping into your heart and making your body feel numb with pain. How were you supposed to continue? What were you supposed to do? You hadn't been ready for this, you hadn't had one moment to call him yours, not really.

Deep down, you somehow knew that Henry's words were true. He wouldn't have cared, he wouldn't have taken care of you or the baby. He didn't understand people enough to make the effort. But still, you had had hope that he would learn, that seeing your baby would put a little human into him. Now you would never know.

No one made a big fuss out of Patrick going missing. Barely any posters had gone up to say he was missing. It wasn’t the same as that Veronica girl, or Georgie Denbrough, or Betty Ripsom. And as soon as Ed Corcoran went missing, it was like Patrick hadn't even existed. His parents didn't care, the town didn't care. Victor and Belch stopped talking about him, Henry acted like he had never known him, giving you weird looks whenever you said his name. Henry just kept getting angrier and acting more violent as July and August rolled around. You felt alienated from them now, like you were just there because you had nowhere else to go. And they kept you around, probably out of guilt and pity.

While the rest of them forgot, you remembered. You remembered because you kept his rings on a chain around your neck. You remembered because you still had some of his clothes in your room. You remembered because when you told your parents that you were pregnant, they had a moment of remembering him too, and cursing that of all people, _he_ had been the one to give you a child. You remembered because you saw him every night in your sleep. And sometimes, when you would walk near the river, you swore you could see him in the distance. You knew that Henry and Victor and Belch would remember him too, as soon as the baby was born. It was his, after all. It would look like him.

In nine months, your baby would be the only real proof that Patrick Hockstetter had ever existed, since no one else seemed to care enough to keep him alive. Why would they keep alive what they couldn’t understand?


End file.
